Funniest Item Requested to be Processed

Steve Everist · Post by **Steve Everist** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:26 am

What's the strangest processing request you've received?

For me it was a printout of a threatening email.

Kathy Saviers · Post by **Kathy Saviers** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 10:53 am

I was requested to print a fabulously hand-carved elephant tusk. It was recovered stolen property. I advised the detective that any process I used would destroy the value of the item.

John P. Black · Post by **John P. Black** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 11:13 am

I had to process a dead alligator that had been thrown on the hood of someone's vehicle.

Gerald Clough · Post by **Gerald Clough** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 12:13 pm

Week-old bottle of urine.

Well, more accurately, a bottle of indeterminate age containing week-old urine.

Full.

Uncapped.

One day, I will be called to a scene with the patrol deputy who collected it. The scene will contain some especially odious evidence. Someone will have to be assigned to collect it, and I will get even.

Wayne · Post by **Wayne** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 12:53 pm

A two foot long double headed dildo. Fortunately, it was still in the original sealed package……Hey -YOU ASKED.

Charles Parker · Post by **Charles Parker** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 12:55 pm

I was requested to process some photostatted copies of checks (not originals) and then if any latent prints developed to compare them with the FPC from a NCIC CCH print out.

Lot and lots of rocks and bricks (Not Unusual).

A pan of Jell-O (got a couple of latents off that one).

But the best of all was a greasy, slimey piece of cooked sausage.

Charles Parker

Pat A. Wertheim · Post by **Pat A. Wertheim** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 2:29 pm

State prison once submitted a half-dozen little knotted balloons of heroin plucked out of a prisoner during a body cavity search. Yup, still covered with fecal matter.

william sampson · Post by **william sampson** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 3:37 pm

Palm fron off of a coconut tree. The coconut limb and fron on the limb had been placed over a body to help conceal it from view. prints of comparative value were recovered and identified to suspect.

Coral rocks. Guess what? did not recover prints.

Michelle · Post by **Michelle** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 4:42 am

We have been asked to examine the following......

1. Sticks and dried up leaves.
2. A twig used to sodomize a victim.
3. A pencil removed from the anal cavity of a gift wrapped dead cat.
4. A toothpick.

J Cascadden · Post by **J Cascadden** » Mon Aug 01, 2005 10:19 am

I had to develop and lift a scrotal imprint on a business glass door once! Thank goodness I never needed to obtain an inked print for comparative purposes!

sharon cook · Post by **sharon cook** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 1:50 pm

Michelle wrote:We have been asked to examine the following......

1. Sticks and dried up leaves.
2. A twig used to sodomize a victim.
3. A pencil removed from the anal cavity of a gift wrapped dead cat.
4. A toothpick.

I WAS going to post this about the dead alligator...and then I got to the bottle of urine...and now a toothpick from a gift-wrapped cat's #$$@! I feel like I've led such a sheltered life...

Hillary Moses · Post by **Hillary Moses** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 4:55 pm

An officer sent in a tech request with the following "special instructions":

"Please ninhidryn the bullit for fingerprints. THX"

Otherwise, a broken garden gnome and a wet, dirty and shredded counterfeit $100 bill were the most entertaining...

(and this is after only 9 months on the job!)

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 03, 2005 5:00 pm

Hillary Moses wrote:a broken garden gnome

Jon Stimac published the following in his Fingerprint Stuff newsletter:

Police lift prints off gnomes

Mike Peters, (Bio) peters@greeleytrib.com
July 19, 2005

Like the old "Dragnet," or the new "CSI" or "Law and Order" and dozens of other TV cop shows, the Gnome Case will take another important step this week: the Gnome Lineup.

In the TV shows and real life, the bad guys are usually the ones standing there, waiting to be picked out as a suspect in a case. But this time, the guys in the lineup are the good guys. Gnomes looking for their homes.

Police also said they were able to lift some fingerprints from the found gnomes.

"If we find someone stole all those gnomes, the cost of the theft could mean the person is charged with a felony," Greeley police spokesman Sgt. Joe Tymkowych

The gnome mystery remains as police try to figure out who stole dozens of the little ceramic dwarfs around the Greeley and Weld County in recent weeks. But thanks to a strange discovery early Saturday, 80 of the gnomes may be returned to their owners.

Because of the large number of gnome victims who have called police to get their gnomes back, police may have to take the owners through the evidence area in small groups to identify their missing gnomes.

The gnomes were discovered in the College Green Gardens, a community of newer, up-scale duplexes located near 16th Street and 47th Avenue. Neighbors said the bags of gnomes, which were found behind a house in the complex, weren't there Friday night. Police believe sometime between midnight Friday and 7 a.m. Saturday someone dumped a load of hot gnomes.

When police arrived at the gnome scene, they found several juveniles, but only one was arrested -- on a warrant from another case.

The gnomes began disappearing around Greeley and Weld County earlier this year, and the case suddenly got bigger when Elsie Schnorr reported someone stole 30 of her gnomes from her yard.

Then, a few days later, Tammy Johnson, who lives in central Greeley, reported 10 of her gnomes were stolen, including some that were inside her fenced backyard, guarded by her five dogs.

Only days later, a woman searching though a trash bin in the Bittersweet Shopping Center in the 3500 block of 10th Street found several gnomes, some of them broken. She took some home and repaired them, then made the announcement she'd saved some of the ceramic elves. Several people contacted the woman at that time and reclaimed their gnomes.

A worldwide organization calling itself the GLF, or Gnome Liberation Front, has claimed responsibility around the world for "freeing gnomes" from their humdrum life of standing around in gardens. Although no information has been released showing a connection to the GLF, some have suspected a Greeley GLF sect might be involved.

Apparently, the only qualification to join the GLF is to "free" a gnome.

Police continue to investigate the gnome mystery and are pursuing several leads.

GNOME GNUMBER

If you are a gnome-theft victim, call 350-9600 if you want to try and find your missing gnome among the ones found early Saturday.

(nope... this was not a joke...
http://www.greeleytrib.com/article/2005 ... /107190056)

Bob Brown · Post by **Bob Brown** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 6:10 am

a 43" Carp that was dropped on the floor of a business during a burglary/Trespass in which nothing was taken or disturbed and no forcible entry was made.

Steve Everist · Post by **Steve Everist** » Mon Aug 08, 2005 6:28 am

Bob Brown wrote:a 43" Carp that was dropped on the floor of a business during a burglary/Trespass in which nothing was taken or disturbed and no forcible entry was made.

Who is to say that the carp didn't just swim in and die!?

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